Hannah
Back home Claire insists for the dog to sleep in her room so Markus picks him up and carries him upstairs while Claire is following him, still overexcited about a dog in the house.
Hannah watches her and smiles before heading to the kitchen.
While she fills up a glass of water she looks out of the window and her mind flips back to Nic.
She hates that he gets under her skin that easily but apparently she never stopped loving him, not once.
And she loves Markus, she really does but Nic just does something to her that she can't explain.
It's like she's sixteen again and madly in love, not giving a shit about anyone or anything.
But she's not sixteen anymore.
She's twenty-seven and mother of a ten year old, she can't afford going back again.
"Get over it, Han. He's probably leaving soon after the funeral.", she mumbles to herself before putting the glas away and making her way to Claire's room.
She finds her, already asleep in her bed with Mephisto by her feeds.
Silently she closes the door before crawling into bed to cuddels onto Markus before she finally falls asleep.

Hannah
Waking up on the next morning Hannah just whishes to fall back asleep and to just crawl under her blanket.
Today is Hellens funeral and she is not ready. She never will.
"It's gonna be okay, Han. Becky and Chris are there to be with you. As well as Jerry.", he whispers and she nods before turning around to him.
"And you will be there too. This gives me strength.", she smiles a soft smile before Markus offers to take Claire to the daycare.
"I would really appreciate that. Give her a kiss for me, okay?", a soft kiss is placed on his lips by her before she gets up and enters the bathroom.
As the hot water in the shower pours down on her, she thinks about Nic.
He's been in her head the whole night when she moved around in bed like Claire did when she was younger.
He's really back here and even though she tried to burry it, she can't help it but her heart races every time she sees him.
And it's not fair to Markus because he is amazing and Claire loves him.
Hannah does too, she thinks to herself. He's wonderful.
A few hours later Claire is at daycare and Hannah enters the cemetery with Markus by her side.
She's wearing on of Hellen's favorite dresses on her and she can feel her heart getting heavier the further she walks.
As she looks up she can spot all of them already there.
Becky. Chris. Jerry. Nic's dad. Nic.
He looks worse than last night and all she wants to do is run to him and kiss these beautiful lips, but she can't.
So she takes her place next to him while Markus is standing behind her, tended up because of how close Nic stands by you.
But he has the decency not to say anything right now.
This is a damn funeral.

Hannah
She gives Nic a warm smile as he greets her and Markus before the pastor starts talking about life and death and all of that bullshit.
Hannah can barely keep it together when he starts talking about Hellen like he knew her.
"Bullshit."
The words come out of her mouth before she can even realize what she is saying and now everyone looks at her, confused about her actions.
"This is bullshit. All of us standing around here, crying? This is not who she was. Instead of mourning her, we should celebrate her because Hellen was a heroine.
She was the most amazing, cheerful and happiest person we've ever met. Even when she died she left with grace and dignity.
That's what we should do. Celebrate her. If she could see all of us crying, she'd kick our damn asses.", she smiles while tears stream down her face, making everyone chuckle for a moment before they realize your breakdown.
She's tried to bury the pain deep inside, so she could be there for Becky and Chris but now everything reaches the surface and she can't help it but collapse on her grave, crying.
Hellen was there whenever she needed her.
She was with her when Nic left.
She was with her when Claire was born.
She was there to help you before Markus came to her life.
She was there when you got married.
And now she's just gone. Forever.

Hannah
Suddenly Nic shows up next to her and pulls her into one of his big hugs, Hannah used to love and still does.
As he wraps his arms around her she can smell his cologne and she can't help it but smile a little.
He still uses the same one as ten years ago.
Tears still stream down her face as Nic holds her tight and they both take the moment of sharing their pain.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak out like that.", Hanna whispers and looks up to Nic, into his beautiful eyes that looked in her in a way that always made her knees weak.
For just a second it seems like it's only Nic and her and she's seventeen again. madly in love with him..
But when the pastor coughs Hannah flips back into reality before she pulls away from Nic again and goes back to her spot where Markus gives her a soft look before he grabs her hand and comforts her like that.
The rest of the ceremony is quiet, peaceful and nice and when it's over, Hannah picks up Mephisto and Claire before heading back to Nic's place.
Markus had an emergency at the clinic and so Hannah is on her own when it comes to the party at Hellens home.

Hannah
The second Claire spots the dog she is all over him while Hannah walks with her towards Nic's house.
Since he's back here she sees so much of him in her but she can't break it to him, that she's his daughter.
He might vanish again after this and he'll leave broken hearts behind. Again.
"Mom, can we have a dog?", Claire looks up to her and Hannah laughs a little before placing a kiss on her head.
"Let me talk to dad about it, okay? And now go play with the other kids in the backyard.", she smiles and Claire gives the dog one last hug before she runs to her friends.
Hannah lets out a sigh before she pets Mephisto and walks inside the house with him, looking for Nic.
"Have you seen your brother?", she asks Chris and he points to his old room before he goes talking to his guests.
"Come on buddy. Let's find him.", you smile at Mephisto while she walks up the stairs to Nic's old room.
She knows exactly where she has to go and when she reaches his door it takes her a few minutes before opening the door.
"Nic? I got someone for you."

Hannah
"Not a big of deal. Had to pick up the litle girl from daycare anyway.", she smiles before entering the room and looking around.
Everything looks still the same and Hannah thinks about the time she spend in this room, with Nic and without.
After he left Hannah spent hours in here, crying over it and trying to figure out what to do with her pregnancy.
"She hasn't changed one thing. She always hoped you'd come back one day.", she looks over to Nic and sits down on his bed, still looking around.
"Becky and her had a fight once because your room is bigger than hers and she wanted to move in here. Helen told her no and Becky freaked out. She spent three days at my place before she decided to give in.
She was as stubborn as your mom.", she laughs a little and looks over to him.
"We've missed you, you know? Sometimes I came in here and cried for hours because I thought you were dead.."

Hannah
"I get why had to leave Nic, I really do. And you joining the army was the best news I've ever heard because I finally knew that you were going your way.", she smiles and looks down on her hands while she talks.
"What I don't get is, why you left ME. You knew I would've gone with you without hesitation. When I came to your house and you were gone, it nearly killed me.
For month I blamed myself, that I did something for you to leave me behind.", she sighs and looks up to him.
"I loved you so bad, Nic. I would've died for you. I really would have. That's why your betrayl hurt so bad.", she mumbles and wipes some hair out of her face.
Of course she still loves him, she never stopped but she just can't leave her husband and start a relationship with her highschool love.

Hannah
"Oh cut the crap, Nic.", Hannah shakes her head and gets up from his bed while she keeps her eyes locked at him.
"You knew exactly that I would have lived on the streets with you, broke and homeless. But atleast we would have been together.", she shakes her head and takes a few step towards him.
"And yes, you're right. I have a decent life now but sometimes I wake up and I hate it. Sometimes I think about how our life would have been and I know that it would have been amazing. Maybe we wouldn't have lived in a fancy house or something but we would have been happy.", she wipes away another tear and crosses her arms in front of her while she looks at him.
"Markus came into my life when I was broken into a milion pieces. He fixed what you broke apart and I love him with all my heart.", she still has her eyes locked on him and waits for his reaction.

Hannah
"Well you're lucky. I am so damn happy, Nic. Can't you see how happy I am with my perfect husband and my perfect daughter living in that perfect house? I am so damn happy, it hurts.", she laughs facetious and looks at him with tears in her eyes as she remembers the night, Nic slapped her.
To be clear, she kind of deserved that slap.
She was so mean and said so many things just to make him mad until something snapped inside of him.
"I can tell you what would've happend. We would have been the happiest we've ever been and with the money you made at the army we would have moved into some cozy loft and we would have made love all over the place until we became parents to wonderful children.
THAT'S what would've happend."

Hannah
"I loved you for who you were, Nic. For whom you've always been. I would deal with every little detail you tell and with every breakdown you might have.", her voice is nothing more than a whisper while she looks up to him and tries to get to him.
"You know me better than anyone else. You know I'd be always by your side no matter what. Always.", she mumbles and can't keep her eyes from Nic.
Being so close to him brings back all the memories and right now all she wants to do is kiss him, but she can't.
"Forget Markus for a second, Nic. This is about you and me. You know it could have worked."